NOTE: Please print the below, sign, and mail to:
Board of Directiors
adamstrauss.com, Inc. a division of Glaxo-PepsiCo-Halliburton-NBC
17 Tax Shelter Way
PO Box 2000, Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands
Dear Sirs and Madams,
I must express my extreme consternation at the excessive number of menu items on adamstrauss.com. While I genuinely appreciate having this central resource for all my Adam Strauss-related needs (and I have many), the cluttered menu bar significantly compromises its utility. I suspect the site’s design may reflect the legendary self-indulgence of its eponymous entertainer; nonetheless, as corporate stewards of the Adam Strauss brand, it is your duty to deliver a more satisfactory customer experience. If you continue to abdicate your responsibility in this regard, I shall have no choice but to take my business elsewhere, likely to adamstrauss.net, adamstrauss.org, or carrottop.com.
Have a blessed day,
______________________
(signature)
Irate Consumer
PS – Please deliver extra lashings to whichever child does the vertical stitching on Adam Strauss branded leg warmers, as a pair I recently purchased (my fifth) is already starting to come apart.